Tulle, 4: Me, 1

Well, it turns out that shorter veils are my style, but just not with this dress. I made and tried on three veils last night, and I liked them all. I just didn't like them when I got my dress home today, put it on, and tried each veil in turn. Luckily, the last thing I made last night was a fascinator--which is kind of like a brooch for the hair. To make mine, I picked up a large toupee clip, made a webbing in between its two bars out of tulle strips, then started sewing and gluing items to it. First I made a puffy circle out of French netting, and sewed that on. Then, in back of the netting, I glued a halo of white feathers. One one side of the fascinator, I attached 3 coq feathers so symmetry wouldn't render my fascinator less so. Then I made some loop bunches out of ostrich feather and when I had seven bunches, I glued them in a circle on top of the netting. Then in the center, I sewed on a few pearls and crystal beads, and glued on two antique mother of pearl buttons. To top it off, I glued on a pewter bee. Sounds like a hot mess, doesn't it? But it's not; it's the perfect finishing touch to my wedding outfit. I have done it! I have shunned the veil.

Tulle 1. Me, 0.

OK, today I constructed a two-layer, waist-length bridal veil with a rolled hem. I gathered it nicely and tacked it to a comb. Then I put it on. I've read that a woman doesn't feel like a bride until she puts on her veil. Well, I didn't feel like a bride. I felt like a big ol' fraud. Also like a big billowy fog monster. It turns out traditional bridal veils are Not My Thing. I guess I'm just too much of a tomboy, even now. So, it's back to the drawing board. Tomorrow I'll construct birdcage-style veils: one out of regular bridal illusion netting and another using French netting and some beads and feathers and whatnot. If the birdcage veil experiment fails, then I'll simply go veil-free.

Another thing: our photographer called today and said she'd broken her foot surfing and so could not shoot our wedding. However, she lined up one of the best photographers in San Francisco to cover for her, so we're not too troubled despite having really looked forward to having her do the shooting. Anyway, I'm hoping to talk with the sub photog soon.

Lastly: I found someone to give my wedding gown to after I'm done with it. I can't see keeping it, since having a daughter is pretty unlikely for me, and even if I were to have a daughter, if she were a daughter of mine she'd be horrified at having to figure out how to tell her dotty old mom that she won't be wearing her old yellowed gown at her wedding. On top of that, we have no storage for big bulky pieces of clothing we'll never wear again. So I'll be giving my gown away. The woman I offered it to is so thrilled that she pledged to pass it along after her own wedding. This makes me smile every time I think about it.

Veiling the issue

I have to admit: I fear the tulle. I've had all the makings of two kinds of bridal veils in this house for more than a month. And yet, I tackle every other job first. I've made the goodie bags for the out-of-towners. I've assembled my half of the. I've tinkered with jewelry components. I've glanced apprehensively at my cut-out and basted veil tulle. Feh. I've got to start on it. It's a two-layer, elbow-length veil with satin-cord edging. In case I don't like it, I also bought some French netting and some cool feathers to make a birdcage-style veil. It's this weekend or nothing, because whatever's not done after the end of the day Monday will have to remain undone. Unless, of course, I forget something critical. But if I haven't made a veil by then, then veil-free I will be on wedding day.

Details

Today was program-cover day. I made the template for the covers yesterday, copying a passport cover, adding an inside pocket, and elongating it to 11" vertical. It's basically the size of half an 8.5x11" sheet bifolded vertically. Then I traced the template onto 15 sheets of brown card stock, four up on a page. Today I cut them out and scored all the fold lines, and tomorrow I'll glue up the inside pockets and round the corners on each. Then I'll proof the program pages (editorial and format), print them out, cut them, hole-punch them and attach them to the cover. Last step: print out driving and parking directions (wedding to reception) and slip them into the pockets. Then it's on to making my veil. On Wednesday after I take my dress back to the tailor, I'll pick up the table map from the restaurant and work on the seating chart and table rosters. I've been making up our iPod song list over the last couple of weeks and we'll get that final in the next week, also. I was down with food poisoning the last couple of days, which slowed my progress considerably. But I woke up today feeling healthy (just in time for our annual Super Bowl bash), so I need to rev back into high gear. Can't let momentum lag, because I have the rest of life (which includes fiction writing) to attend to as well.

Oh, Lordy. Almost there.

There are twenty-two days to go, and I was really stressed out this week. But tonight we went to our restaurant reception site and had dinner and picked our menu and somehow that just made me relax. The manager brought us various wines to try and I think it added up to seven full glasses. We got a little tipsy and were happy we were within walking distance of home. The restaurant setup precludes escort cards for each guest, so yahoo, one less project to do. This, too, helps with my peace of mind. I've finished beading my wrap. I still have to make my veil. I'm making my veil because I'm too damned stubborn to pay $100 or more retail for $7 worth of netting and a 25-cent comb. I have netting, I have combs, I have satin cording and I even have some crystal beads. So after this weekend perhaps I will have my veil. If not, then certainly by the end of the coming week. I do believe I'll have some time in which to tuck in some fiction writing.

1 month, minus 1 day. And counting.

Last night as I settled in to go to sleep, it occurred to me that I had fewer than 30 days to get everything done for the wedding. Actually, as I'd like to have 90% of it done by the week before the wedding, I have much less time. With that, my mind yawned, stretched, and started working. Soon I had to get up, because it was clear I wasn't going to get any sleeping done for a while. I went back to bed around 2:30. Bleah. I hate anxiety-induced insomnia. One other thing that's caused anxiety is our lack of ability to invite everyone we'd really like to have there. It's a little sticky, because if I talk about the wedding without their having received an invitation, the subject just sits there between us, silent and petulant, and it doesn't matter if I say we're keeping it small. Small or not, no invite is no invite. Damn. It doesn't mean I don't love these friends, it just means we can't stuff them in--and if we could, we wouldn't be able to afford to feed them. (*sending up my zillionth silent question about why I wasn't born into untold wealth*) I wish I could send out old-fashioned wedding announcements after the fact, but I've read on countless boards that those are currently considered blatant bids for gifts. Horrors. Sigh. Anyway, back to Anxiety-Provoking Topic Number 1: the sand flowing from the top chamber of the hourglass to the bottom. Here's what I still have to do:
- Nail down a rehearsal dinner spot and send invitations. Will probably have to be eVites.
- Make my bridal veil
- Finish beading my bridal shawl
- Select organza for my sister's shawl and take it to my tailor
- Embroider the names of my single friends into the hem of my dress, then
- Take my dress back to the tailor for another fitting, because I've lost some inches (weight workouts finally kicking in!)
- Meet with our reception venue manager to determine menu. This will be fun. The Hunky Scientist and I will make a dinner date of it.
- During above-mentioned menu selection, find out whether restaurant has microphone to go with its nice sound system. If so, sigh contentedly.
- If not, book a microphone and all needed accompanying gadgetry, so we can have toasts at our reception and my brother can read the poem he's writing just for us. If can't book, plan for hollering.
- Get hair cut and colored
- Make escort cards and holder
- Make table numbers and holders
- Make playlist for sound system
- Do day-before and day-of mapping and determine who's helping set up and take down reception.
- Confirm with wedding-night suite, photographer, florist
- Oh yeah: order flowers (we're not using many)
- Clean up Wedding Planning Central (meaning, get the whole house cleaned up, including the disastrous basement level)

Yes, Mr. Future Husband is helping with all this. Still, it seems Herculean.

Wonderful visit

Friend Lisa came over today and we got some wonderful one-on-one time. We had tea and snacks, and then she cast a critical eye on my wedding gown and noted that my recent weight loss (thank you, Mr. Trainer Guy) meant I'd have to shlepp it back to my tailor. We decided the back needed a bit of work, and that adding a halter strap to the bodice would make the dress that much more fetching. We also figured out the veil dilemma, so now I have a good idea of what I'm going to make. This was important, as I'm going to the hairdresser on Friday for a trial run. I still have to figure out the flower thing. Next week I'll go investigate a flower farm in East Palo Alto and see what their selection is and if their pricing meets my requirements. Only a little more than a month to go, and still a lot of things to do. But I'm confident I'll be able to sort it all out. Anyway, it was hugely satisfying to have some girl time with my friend and also to get the sisterly bridal-wardrobe advice I'd been craving. It helped me feel better about the whole ensemble.

Paperwork. Check!

We went to lunch today at a nice Japanese place near where I work, then zipped over to the county clerk's office and got our marriage license. That took 15 minutes with a bored and joyless county employee. We signed, payed, and practically sprinted out of there, giggling all the way. Then we went to the church and signed the affidavit for the admin to send to the diocese for our eccliasiastic marriage license. So, the paperwork is all done. Yay!

On to the next challenge

Invitations are largely out of the way. Batch 2 stands ready to be released into the postal river on Monday or Tuesday. There are some folks we'd love to be able to invite, but it depends wholly on how the RSVPs fall. Conversely, I'm bummed about some that've come back declines. I do understand the reasons, but still. Waa. I wish I had unlimited funds so that I could (a) afford a bigger venue, and (b) afford to fly out the friends and relatives who are unable to attend due to distance, finances, or both. The first round of final RSVPs are due 1/10; the next are due on 1/24. We're hoping to have almost all answers in well before that, so we can advise the chef at our reception site. The next challenge: My attire. I started beading my white organza wedding shawl today. Naturally, this makes me want to go get silver thread and embroider the whole thing. As there are only 50-some days left before our nuptials, this is not going to happen. I have some beading to do on the dress as well, and a veil or other headpiece to make. And some jewelry. With any luck, the veil thing will be done within the next week. They're easy to put together; I just have to settle on what silhouette I want: sophisticated birdcage blusher? nonchalant femme fatale sweep of tulle? Or regular ol' bridal veil? We shall see. I have to wait for the future hubberoonie to get out of the house so I can put on my dress and play with the veiling material.

Got the first RSVPs today!

And all three say "Accepts with pleasure." Yahoo! Somehow this makes the whole thing seem even more real.