Dress shopping and other unsavory things

I've always been a tomboy who longs to be more fem. I've always been most comfortable in jeans, next comfortable in skirts, and least comfortable in dresses. Perhaps that's because it's difficult to find dresses that fit me well (I feel sizzly hot in dresses that do fit). At my fittest, I'm a size 10. I'm presently not at my fittest. (Yeah. I'm working on it.) My torso is short in comparison with my legs. This means that dresses in petite sizes fit my body best, but tend to be too short. In regular dress boutiques, the fitting rooms are not my friend. However, in bridal boutiques, I've found the dresses are constructed to hide regrettable features and play up assets. Thus, I've found wedding dress shopping to be fun--at least in part. That is, these dresses make me look stunning. However....most are WAY too foofy to be any fun at all. I'm not looking to be a Barbie. I just want to look like a bride. Whatever that means. I guess what it means to me is something beautiful and formal, but with very little bling. Pearls are OK. Embroidery (with ivory thread) is OK. But no sequins. No shiny beads. Nothing shiny. No poofy anything. And no long-ass train.

Also (brace yourself), I only want to spend $300 on it. Bob and I are paying for every cent of this wedding by ourselves (except for those ceremonial items our koumbara traditionally supplies. I do not intend to flush more than $300 of our budget on a dress I'll wear only once. So, my aim is to get a devastating dress for a song (Bob applauds). Also, I want to be left alone until I have questions or want to negotiate a buy. All these contingencies combined do not make me a well-liked customer at the bridal salon.

Other contingencies make me a puzzling figure to some of my girlfriends from church. I haven't selected my wedding "colors." Bob and I want only a single person to stand up with us. I figure whatever color my matron of honor chooses, that'll be the color I think about incorporating into whatever other decor we arrange for. We don't want tons of flowers everywhere. We don't need limos to take us from church to reception. We don't care about monogrammed napkins, nor favors, nor engraved toasting glasses. I'd be happy going for pizza after the rehearsal rather than having a sit-down dinner. I'm organized, so naturally I gravitated toward the wedding planner section of bookstores. But all the planners I saw were illustrated in pastel shades with flowers and lace--they were clearly meant only for the bride. Well, there are two of us getting married, so two of us have to like the planner. So I made one for us out of a binder and some tabbed divider sheets.

I don't want to have a "perfect, fairy tale" wedding at which I can "look like a princess." I want to share a real, intimate, beautiful, fun wedding with Bob and our family and friends, and a great dinner gathering afterward. Then go somewhere relaxing for a while.